• Kaylee Petersen

S1E10: Base Camp 1!



We made it to 10 episodes! Base Camp 1!

We made it to 10 episodes! We never thought we’d make it this far up the podcast mountain–but we did it–and we owe it all to our listeners.


“I think we have about 5 dedicated listeners and I’m feeling really good about that.”


To the 5 of you who consistently listen, this episode is for you. We’re sharing our favorite cringe-worthy stories of singlehood sent in by you. So sit back, relax, and laugh along with us while we try to keep Ursula from stealing Tracy’s voice.*


*Always read the terms and conditions*


Listener Emails!

Our first listener email comes from Anthony who is a “long-time listener, first-time writer” who wanted to share two dates, but knew that we would ultimately choose which one to share, or both because “they’re quick as [his] very rare dates don’t last long…[he has] an exceptional talent for choosing not the best people to go on dates with.”


Same, Anthony. Same.


His go-to date is getting pizza, because who doesn’t love pizza? On one date, the guy told Anthony he broke off his last date before this one because his date was too feminine. “The toxic masculinity really showed and really turned me off...we’re all on a scale, so let people be who they are.”


Toxic masculinity ruins the party again. Men and women of the internet: let people be who they are and stop judging people because they’re not what you imagined in your head. We hate to break it to you, but people are rarely what you imagine them to be. It’s high time you get over it.


“In conclusion, I’m enjoying pizza alone for the foreseeable future.” Honestly, Anthony, we all are. We’re single and thriving out here and we are not alone.


Our second response came from one of our followers on Instagram. She said, “My first week at college as a freshman, an RM asked me out on a date. The next Monday, he proposed.


YIKES! RED ALERT! ABORT MISSION!


Stop Proposing So Soon

Anyone that thinks it’s time to propose after just meeting someone needs serious help. We know and understand mission presidents tell missionaries to move forward on their next goal in life after their missions. Heck, Tracy is an RM and could tell you many stories of this nature. But some people take their mission president’s advice too seriously and they really shouldn’t.


Our promise to you is that you won’t die miserable and alone a few months after your mission. Scout’s honor.


Another follower on Instagram shared how she was new in her singles ward and was soon asked out to go see a movie and get dinner. The guy emphasized they would have dinner and dress nicely. Like any girl getting ready for a date, she did her hair, makeup, and a cute new outfit. When he arrived to pick her up, “he was in a hoodie and basketball shorts.”


NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.


Why Do Men Dress Like Children

Basketball shorts are not meant for dates. They are meant for lounging around the house, running errands, or the sports field. Guys, we know you can do better than this. PLEASE do better.


We know there may be some argument here from the male species saying, “Leggings are just as bad as basketball shorts,” and to that, we say, “You’re wrong.”


Leggings have come a long way over the last 10ish years. You can get high-quality leggings, leather leggings, even denim leggings that look like jeans (jeggings) and pair them with a cute jacket or top. What can you pair basketball shorts with? NOTHING.


Can you make basketball shorts look cute? No. No, you cannot.


Guys, we’re not asking you to don a three-piece suit (although we would never discourage it). We’re just asking you to shower, wear clean clothes, and put a little effort into how you present yourself. If we can spend an hour getting ready for a date, you can spend 15 minutes putting on a pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt without any holes in it. Just try to pretend you’re happy about going on a date with us, OK?


Another amazing follower of ours on Instagram shared that she was waiting for the guy to pick her up for their date and she ran outside so he would know what house was hers. As she ran out, she forgot there was a step and fell! She ended up twisting her ankle and getting a hole in her new pants before the date even started. At the end of the date, she had to get help from her roommates to take off her boot because it swelled so badly.


Kaylee: “I wonder if the guy was worth it.”

Tracy: “Unless it’s Chris Evans, he ain’t worth it.”


Update: it was not Chris Evans.


She also shared another date where a guy took her on a 007 themed booze cruise where they were the only two dressed up to match the theme.


*Insert all the fake throwing up sounds here*


Why are guys like this? Why do they try to be suave? WHY?


You aren’t suave. You will never be James Bond. Even some men who play James Bond shouldn’t be James Bond. Tracy firmly believes that Daniel Craig shouldn’t have been asked to play James Bond. You’ll have to listen to the episode to find out why.


As Kaylee perfectly put it, “I believe in miracles, but not in men.”


Guys, if you’re listening, or if you have a friend who is a guy who needs to hear this: Stop putting girls into situations where they don’t know or understand what’s going on. That hurts them. Have some manners, communicate truthfully, and give her all the necessary information.


We received another email from an anonymous male listener who said he was 16 and had a date with the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. It was a big deal. The car he drove at that time was an old Pontiac that had a single palmetto bug residing within that he’d constantly fight with, but always evaded him.


For those of you listening who are unfamiliar with palmetto bugs, they are giant flying monsters that look like roaches.


As they were driving down the highway to get dinner, the bug appeared from under her seat and agonizingly slowly crawled its way toward the engine. He did everything he could to distract her from it. Just as he thought he was in the clear and could relax, a second bug appeared. “In total, 4 palmetto bugs made an appearance and 1 crawled on her leg. Needless to say, she never spoke to me again after that date.”


Poor man. We’re sorry that happened, but good job trying to distract her from the bug. It couldn’t have been a good scenario for her when she felt and saw the bug crawling on her in the car.


If you’re that girl, and you’re reading this, please tell us your side of the story. We want to know everything.


Kaylee’s Turn to Cringe!

When Kaylee was 16, she went on a date where the guy had a “credit card” but it wasn’t actually a credit card and probably wouldn’t work. Essentially, he had no money with him on the date he asked her to. *insert eye roll here* Kaylee paid for her food and did what she could do for the guy, but she was also 16 and had no money. He spent the rest of the date complaining, “yeah, I’m still hungry.”


The solution? Bring real money and be prepared.


Another date she went on in college was a horrifying blind date. They were supposed to go to this guy’s house for bbq and a movie. The entire situation was terrible. The house was shared by 2-3 dudes who plastered swimsuit model posters all over the living room, there was no food in the fridge, and Kaylee was forced to go grocery shopping with a guy she just met.


He also bragged about being a rocket scientist in the middle of nowhere. They later decide to watch a movie and Kaylee tries to get her friend to let them leave early, but alas, her friend was making out with her date the entire time and Kaylee was trying her best not to touch the guy she was set up with.


Blind dates can be fun, but friends, let’s not set someone up on a blind date just because they have one personality trait in common. Set them up for success, not for disaster.


Tracy’s Turn to Cringe!

While Tracy was in college, she went on many bad dates. She could probably write an entire book on the bad dates she went on, but that’s for another time. This one, in particular, needed to be shared.


Her best friend in college wanted to go on a date with this guy and Tracy, being the good friend she is, agreed to go on a double date to make it less awkward for her friend. She agreed to go and be set up with a guy she knew from campus because they had mutual friends and she had been thinking about going on a date with him previously. Two days before the date, he still hadn’t asked Tracy out.


As Tracy, her friend, and her friend’s date were walking to play practice together, they ran into the guy Tracy would be going on the date with. He got down on one knee, apologized for not asking her out, and then asked her out.


That should have been the sign she needed to not go on the date, but alas, she was young, and stupid, and went on the date anyway.


They went to an acapella concert and a karaoke night in town hosted by Tracy’s best guy friend. At the acapella concert, they each said hello to people they knew and socialized. At one point, her date was called on stage to be sung a love song to which Tracy thought was hilarious.


At the karaoke night, Tracy said hello to her best guy friend, as well as her neighbors, which was a house of guys she had also become very close friends with for the year. Tracy got up to sing a duet with one of the neighbors and her date stormed out of the building in a rage claiming she was “all over every man she interacted with and ignoring him.” Well, you all know Tracy by now, so you can imagine what happened next–but you’ll need to listen to find out the whole story.


Needless to say, Tracy is really glad it didn’t go anywhere.


Puh-Lease

A note to any listener who may be thinking he was within his rights to feel this way: we’re sorry, but you’re wrong.


“Reign in your jealousy because you don’t have a right to anyone, or their time, or their attention, or their love… no one owes you anything and you should just try to be a decent person.”


Some Final Thoughts

If you’re ever on a date where you just do not feel comfortable, safe, or like you’re enjoying yourself, end the date.


Tracy is really good at ending dates early when she’s not feeling it. She talks about the most gruesome true crime stories and serial killings she can think of. It works 10/10 times.


Kaylee hasn’t had to use it on dates yet, but she uses her skills of leaving family events she doesn’t want to be by bringing up grotesque facts, like a woman who had a beetle come out of her tongue.


Hone your skills, friends. Stay safe out there and keep enjoying being a single pringle!


“There are such full lives ahead of us regardless of our relationship status.” You’re here for a short time. Find out your life’s mission and fulfill it.


And if you can’t fulfill it immediately, just cocoon yourself in a blanket with some pizza and pringles.


1 view0 comments

Recent Posts

See All